How Mindfulness And Meditation Changed My Life
For the last 4–5 years, I have been practicing meditation (and various forms of mindfulness and emotional training) pretty diligently. From having engaged in over 20 full weekend trainings and over 20–30 multi-week courses, regular daily meditations, multi-day silent retreats, volunteering and teaching meditation, reading numerous books and not having spent a single day not enrolled in a training in the last 4 years, I can tell you it works. But honestly I didn’t realize it had worked until two years back when my mom, who was visiting from India, told me “you are a different person”.
I see that more and more people are trying meditation and are open to it. I also completely understand the hesitation or the disbelief that some people feel towards it. I know when I first started I couldn’t sit still for 2 minutes and I was convinced this meditation thing isn’t for me.
Wherever you are with it, I hope this helps get a little better idea of various types of meditations and their benefits (at least as I understand it). Fair warning — coming from India and having seen some real powerful meditation gurus, people who spend years in meditation, I am in no way claiming I am an expert. I still have a lot to learn and will likely always have which I am very much looking forward to.
I see meditation as a tool. A very powerful tool. Like any tool, for best results finding the right kind of tool for the job is important. In my experience, there are various kinds of meditations and they help with various facets of life. I don’t think any meditation isn’t going to harm you but a lot of times I see people give up and I wonder if a different meditation would have worked better for them (Though, sometimes it is just a matter of sticking it out for longer like with any new habit).
Here is a summary of various ways I see meditation helps. Based on what you are looking for, there might be a different kind of meditation that might be the most beneficial for you.
1. Awareness Building
Before you decide how to get somewhere, you got to know where you are at. Majority of our lives are run by our unconscious thoughts and emotions. On top of that, we are too busy to observe and pay attention to our conscious thoughts these days. So now, we are even less aware of what’s driving the show. Awareness means understanding and knowing where you are truly at, without judgement, so you can do something about it if you want.
Quick exercise: Sit still for 5 minutes and just observe your thoughts. At first you might notice that thoughts will try to hide but I promise they will eventually show. If you keep doing this a few times a day you will notice our mind thinks the same things over and over (It’s kind of boring in there!).
2. Focus & Being Present
There is no dearth of distractions today and our focus suffers due to it. Focus is like a muscle. The more you use it and train it, the more it builds. The less you exercise it, the more it deteriorates. Focus is the ability to pay full attention to the task at hand and not be distracted (externally or internally in your thoughts). I find that meditative practices to improve focus not only help improve my productivity but also my fulfillment levels. No matter how mundane the task at hand is, when I am more present with it I feel happier. You might have experienced being “in flow”. That’s what I call being fully focused.
Quick exercise: Sit still and focus on your breath for 5 mins. Focus on the tip of your nostrils as you inhale and exhale. If your mind drifts, just bring your focus back to the breath.
3. Emotional, Mental & Personality Training
This has been the biggest lesson for me as it has completely changed my perspective on who I am. I used to say I am a happy person or a talkative person or a short tempered person. I thought I was born with a set of characteristics (usually very similar to my parents) and that’s who I was. It’s a no-return-policy kind of a deal. But that’s so not true. Our personalities are very malleable and trainable. I have recently heard the term Growth Mindset which also says we can change and train our mindset. Yes, there are a certain set of characteristics that we have because we knowingly or unknowingly trained them because of our environment. But we can train our personality and mindset to be howsoever we want. Moreover, we can change it on demand so we can show up in a way which will best cater to the situation. Mastering this will likely take a lot of time (I know I am not there yet) but I know it is doable. When a newly made friend of mine told me I was one of the most peaceful people he has met, my first thought was “Ah, he doesn’t know me well enough. Otherwise he wouldn’t have said so”. But when multiple people told me that over a few months, I realized what was really happening. I had trained “peace” through my meditations which wasn’t a quality I used to associate with myself earlier. So I thought these people didn’t know me well. Instead I just didn’t realize that the “new me” had more access to peace than the “old me”. Also, in certain situations I was turning it on more than others. This in itself has been one of the biggest awakenings and lessons of my life. Learning that I can choose how I feel and think, and I am not bound to a certain set of thoughts or emotions is gold! And I don’t mean fake think or fake feel. I know now that with training we can change our unconcscious thoughts, our go-to emotions, our impulses.
Quick exercise: Sit still and check-in on how you are feeling. Observe your thoughts and emotions. Think about a sad moment from your past. Remember what happened, how you were hurt and how you felt. Stay with it. Observe how you feel. Now shift your focus to a happy moment from your past. Think about the details of the moment, who you were with, how you felt, what was happening around you. Check in and see how you feel. This is the power of our thoughts. Nothing changed around you but your emotions changed as you directed your mind.
4. Manifestation
In the past, whenever I would read in media or books about some famous person attributing their success to meditation or power of thoughts, I used to be (and still am) very intrigued. I am starting to understand that they speak of both the power of our internal state and our power of imagination to influence the world around us. Even if we don’t buy into the esoteric elements of this, this makes sense at a very logical level. If you can manage your emotionally and are not reactive, you can better respond to situations and make better decisions pertaining to your business, career, finances, etc. even when life throws you a curveball. If you are a peaceful and happy person, more people will likely want to be around you so it will influence your relationships. If you spend a lot of time imagining a vision and are excited about it, you think about it over and over - you will likely keep coming up with ideas on how to make it happen and will be more motivated to take actions towards it. We spend too much time thinking about how to solve our current problems instead of thinking about what can we do to move towards our vision.
Quick exercise: Sit still and take a few deep breaths. Think about your ideal day. What would that look like? Design the details. Who would be around you? What are the things you would do? Would you be outdoors or indoors? How would you feel?
5. Spiritual Growth
I find this to be the trickiest of all the pieces to talk about. I know some people feel hesitant about approaching meditation as it feels misaligned with their religious or spiritual beliefs. But I didn’t want to leave this out because I believe yes there are definitely meditations for spiritual growth. It’s likely the origin of meditation practices too. Some of the more ancient text would even say that’s the ultimate goal and that enlightenment is what truly matters. Here I am not going to argue either way or claim to even know the answer. I do feel I have grown spiritually through meditative practices that focus more on these aspects as I better understand myself, the world around me and our connectivity. Spirituality to me is what shows up when everything else fades away (including my mind).That said, I also don’t think it’s an all or nothing deal. Don’t let the idea of meditation being a spiritual tool keep you from using it for improving your focus, awareness or any other aspect of life.
Quick exercise: Sit still and take a few deep breaths. Take a full inhale and as you exhale chant “Om”. Inhale again and exhale to “Om”, using a lower pitch that you can feel vibrate through your torso and center of your body.
I know meditation, along with the various mindfulness trainings, really changed my life over the last few years. From mostly living by reacting to people and situations to starting to design an intentional life. From spending a lot of time knowing anger, grief and righteousness to spending most of my time experiencing inspiration, love, joy and a greater peace. It changed my relationship to myself, others and how I related to life. Hope this helps you too!
Good luck for your meditation journey!
